My slave [Y] shares his journey from play androgyne to full sissy via persuasive Gender Exploration. A beautiful Tribute to Women and Divine Feminine which lies in all of us.

Androgyny had long been the feature of fantasy, reshaping and challenging the boundary of my masculinity and acknowledging the desire and power of the female form.

I came to recognise the thrill of lingerie worn as a token of that boundary but as a hidden demonstration of subjugation, a connection, and a potent way for me to demonstrate my acceptance of your control over me with a clandestine and illicit act.

By adopting this practice a meeting of fetishistic desire and submission combine and fuse. The submission comes from a compliance to wear what is deemed socially unacceptable, articulating an assumption of ownership of my masculinity and the belief system built around it that has been established as part of my place and empowerment in the world. Acceptance of a shift in this construct of my identity becomes indoctrination to the effect and influence of your power, female power, symbolically using feminine attire imposed on the masculine to achieve this shift. 

Incorporating this fetish and developing it within the confines of session intensified the practice. The concept label of ‘silk and lace’ (stockings and feminine knickers) was born and the use of a corset to shape shift extended the image to an aesthetic encompassing the ambiguity of a cinched waist and accentuated hip and ass curves. Heels took this shift to a literal level, shifting the hips, sculpting the legs and challenging the eye to distinguish the sex. 

Acceptance at this level was easy, it met an existing fetish, played with decade old fantasies, provided a thrill, but remained hidden and stopped short of ‘full transformation’ with an associated awareness of clumsy and unconvincing male submissives and TVs in dresses, wigs and make up. Whilst humiliation does not and has never registered in my predilections a fear of failed emulation of femininity had grown. For a lover of women and their inherent beauty who partly defined their superiority in their beauty and sensuality then to badly emulate and lack the ability to achieve representation of it would represent a humiliation. Any resulting failed attempt to even come close to emulation would manifest with feelings of ridiculousness and inferiority, therein laid a potential humiliation. I avoided it. ‘Sissification’ in BDSM carried an implication represented by an uneasy feeling of humiliation from a lack of grace or aesthetic taste.

I have wrestled with the use of the word ‘sissy’ but on balance have chosen to adopt it in a spirit of defiance against its frequent meanings centred upon weakness. It has become my rebellion, a personal talisman that it is in our context anything but a weakness. 

So a progression involving being forced or at least coerced to cross-dress by and before Maîtresse (a woman) overcame whatever was buried in the remains of gender stereotyping. A nod to Grayson Perry at this point, who has much right to say on the redundancy of the male stereotype where the male needs to prove his masculine sexual prowess and reproductive value to the opposite gender. 

The liberation now realised under Maîtresse’s control gives confidence and trust to expose a desire by not only dismissing any thoughts that might have remained from conditioned stereotypes to perform or impress but also it flips to a submissive dynamic of becoming an object of Maîtresse’s pleasure and delight for her to toy with and use based on her terms and preferences. There is an element of sissification being re-masculation in an even more intense way than other forms of F/m submission.

The sissy transformations fulfils a need to explore the abdication of maleness using matched ‘wants’ including to be Maîtresse's muse, an object of her pleasure, her slut and her whore. Sissification via these triggered fantasies however does not imply a debasing of femininity. They are rather a replacement and shifting of masculinity using an established set of fantasies and fetishes. The taboo of the fetish adds a frisson and the challenging and redefining of the gender boundary within our own perversions allows a deepening of a bond with all the positives of fun and mutual gratification. 

The desire to associate with the aesthetic of femininity and to break away from the confines of a limiting masculine image is strong. The sensual pleasures of silk, lace, leather and feminine structured garments on skin and form are a forbidden delight but it also becomes a poignant privilege to emulate the beauty and feminine sensuality. The silky smooth persuasion of stockings and the thrill of the loose and open nature of a skirt are a stark contrast to the limits of trousers. Coupled with the shift of heels and the cinch of a corset the desires mount to graphic fantasies of admiration in turn alighting lust for the object I have transformed to, a craving to be ravished is fuelled by the slipping away of any expectation to be the initiator. Similar to the fundamental and core basis of power exchange in a D/s exploration the desire is to present for the sensory and visual pleasure of Maîtresse. 

The gothic maid Clitomestra emerged. A twist away from an over worn naughty French maid but nonetheless with a huge nod to the servitude of the maid and not removing the frills, skirt layers, laced trimmings, suspenders on view stockings and high-heels of this classic imagery. Retaining also the servant dynamic whilst slipping into a role play of life initially with clumsy demeanour and less than graceful but none the less desired effort to adopt the feminine. My sexuality screams to be good enough to invoke lust and stirs a longing to be taken, used and abused. 

An array of sissy avatars begin to emerge, some reaching realisation as Maîtresse skilfully returns to the play of ‘dress up’ and a delight re-emerges in the creativity of mixing and matching clothing and makeup to bring forth a new sissy avatar. Leading a charge are; Trixy Sucker whose penchant is for the slutty punk closely linked in authentic punk attitude and preference to attain the 'whore' effect and Cum Novak, who whilst still driven by an inner whore is being defined from a more ‘classy’ embellishment where a pseudo pretence of a more sophisticated aesthetic appeal is the entry point. 

Makeup until now a distantly observed ritual of female attire becomes more relevant as its potential consequences when professionally applied by Maîtresse begins to reshape and transform. Extended false eyelashes, masked and redefined eyebrows, toning colours all achieve until now the unattainable feminine details that take the avatar transformations to surprising and gleeful fruitions. 

I wonder about the sissy effect and the sexual arousal. I wonder if Maîtresse finds a desire in the submissive allowing themselves to explore the sissy avatars beyond the everyday presentation of a masculine role player. I am aroused by being transformed in a way where the multi faceted beings in my mind are given a life beyond a public world masculine presentation, fascinated and fed by Maîtresse’s skill in drawing forth a feminised slut, a maid, a more graceful whore. I like to think there is a mutual gratification in watching the transformation and the gaining of an amusement and delight as identities separate and collide in a teeming yet subtle complexity, the release of a sophisticated sexuality. Coaxed and allowed to let go with an encouraged level of confidence, breaking away from the traditional boundaries and tethers of masculinity is a privilege and joy.

To be continued

Creature by Nuit d’Or©2019

Creature by Nuit d’Or©2019